Inconvenienced

Blog

  • Going The Right Way For a Fat Lip

    (You’re getting a twofer today, folks!)

    I’m not gonna sugarcoat it: I’m fat. Big. Beefy. Flabby. Fluffy. Obese. When I sit around the house, I sit around the house. I can’t even jump to a conclusion. (Don’t worry, I’m trying to lose weight.)

    One customer came in tonight saying that he hadn’t been there in months and that he almost got as fat as me. His words! Doctors and exercise professionals aside, there are only 3 kinds of people I allow to talk or joke about my weight: myself, friends, and family (and of those last two, it’s not impossible to lose that privilege) and this guy was neither.

    Unless you know someone personally, it’s really not cool discussing their weight. It’s none of your business. You don’t know what they’re going through. Maybe they have a condition, or they’re on a medication that has weight fluctuations as a side effect. Either way, it has nothing to do with you.

  • If You Ignore The Warnings and Slip Up, Don’t be Surprised if we Freeze You Out

    It cold right now in my little corner of the world. “Breath of wolves” cold. “Riding a sled team out to the mailbox” cold. Which means that, since salt has little effect on the ice that accumulates on the sidewalk outside of my store, we leave orange traffic cones over the icy parts.

    Last night, one of my regulars ignored one of said cones, slipped, fell, and hit the back of her head on the cone. Another customer helped her up, she came in, bought some stuff, grabbed her receipt, and left. She called back, saying that she’s got pain behind her eyes and that she called corporate to complain.

    As far as I’m concerned, those cones were there for a reason. I don’t enjoy seeing people get hurt*, but if you choose to ignore them, that’s on you.

    *outside of slapstick comedies!

    A “super genius,” ladies and gentlemen!

  • All Dollars, No Sense

    One of my regulars yesterday bought a pack of cigarettes ($14 and change) with a $100 bill. Now, we have 3 drawers in our store, two of which can only barely break that, and the last one shouldn’t be able to break it at all.

    I asked that he please check with us before trying to get such a large amount in change. He did not like that. He started saying that, as a 24-hour store, there’s no reason we can’t be able to break it, that he always runs into trouble he tries stuff like that at our store, and that he’s going to call our manager, whose name he didn’t even get right. (A point I kind of wish I hadn’t corrected him on.)

    Addressing the second point first, if you know that workers in a particular establishment have issues with repeated behavior of yours, stop doing it!

    As for why it’s difficult to make such a large amount of change, yes we’re open all day and night, but every shift change we have to open and close our registers at a certain dollar amount, as well as depositing cash periodically into a safe throughout the day.

  • Connecting With the Customers

    On the whole, I love my customers. My job’s not perfect, but the customers, with some exceptions, are great. One of them even became one of my best friends as we bonded over one of our favorite sci-fi franchises!

    One young lady came in with a purse bedecked with pins of (among other things) Shakespeare and his Globe theatre. Being a theatre kid with hopes of directing, I had to compliment her accessorizing. Turns out that her dream role and my dream project involve the same musical!

    I recently had a customer with a very thick Scottish brogue, so I did what I always do whenever I get a customer from the UK or Ireland: recommend a shop a couple of blocks from me that specializes in British goods! (I’m addicted to Jelly Babies.)

    To all the awesome customers out there, keep on rocking! To the not so great ones, there’s always hope.

  • Ringing Up Phoneys

    One kind of customer you see every day as a cashier is the phoney, a person who spends the whole transaction on their cellphone or Bluetooth. It’s one thing if you’re on a business call, but if you’re just yakking with someone, please hang up or put it on hold until the transaction is over, and especially don’t pick up if the phone goes off during the transaction. The former is ignorance at best, obliviousness at worst; the latter’s just rude.

    Put the shoe on the other foot: how would you feel if an employee was answering someone else’s questions over the store phone while ringing you out, perhaps even having picked up the phone while scanning your items? I’d wager that most stores have a policy that the customer physically present takes precedence over the person calling. Employees have to give you their undivided attention, please extend them the same courtesy.

  • Taste-Testing my Patience

    Some of the hot foods we sell in my store include four-piece bags of items that can best be described as longer versions of either (depending on the bag) tater tots with some flavor of macaroni & cheese (plain or mild buffalo, again depending on the bag) or some variant of pigs in blankets. During yesterday’s shift, I noticed one such bag that was missing three pieces. Bear in mind that, after heating said tots/PIBs, we place them in the bags ourselves.

    If you’re gonna eat things in the store, please pay for them, either before or after. They’re not free samples unless someone offers them to you, especially if the bag has a barcode on it like ours do.

  • Putting People (And Things) in Their Place

    One thing I come across a lot in my job is items being strewn about: candy on the wrong racks, unwanted coffee or soda cups left on the counter after someone dropped them instead of throwing them out, peanut butter crackers where the prepackaged cookies go. My last shift I had a customer drop the tongs meant for grabbing food off of the roller grill try to hang them back up! (It doesn’t help that he hung them up in the wrong spot.)

    If you don’t remember where you got an unwanted item from, or just plain don’t want to go back, that’s fine! Just please, ask one of the employees to do it. It’s what we’re there for. Yes, it’s part of our job to put things back where they belong, but it makes it just that much easier if we don’t find them at random.

    If you drop a cup, or unwrap a straw, please throw the cup or wrapper away. If you don’t know where the garbages are, ask. (Also, please don’t just hand us your wrappers and say “throw this away for me.” It’s low-key dehumanizing.) Again, I understand that it’s part of our job to keep the store clean, but it helps just that much more when customers pitch in a little. Your mom doesn’t work there, and if she does, she probably wants you to pick up after yourself, too.

    As for the tongs, please hand them to an employee and let them know that it was on the floor so they know to wash it off. Should go without saying that if it falls on the dirty ground, it won’t be touching the food again anytime soon. Plus, we probably have more in back.

  • This Post is a Real Gas!

    It’s a law in my state that you must remain standing by the gas pumps while fueling. It’s a safety feature in case you decide to get back in your vehicle, forget that you’re fueling, and drive off with the nozzle, for which you’d have to pay $10k in damages.

    If you’re unable to do so, that’s fine, just call the store and someone will come out and help you. Otherwise, if we don’t see you physically standing there (say, if the vehicle’s taller than you, and it’s blocking our view of you) we will make an announcement over the PA system and shut it off. We restart the gas if you get out, but repeat the process if you get back in. If you get back in the car a third time, the pump’s staying off with no announcement. Three strikes, yer out!

  • Entitled, But Not to the Handicapped Spot!

    Twice in my mom’s life was she granted a handicapped pass: a temporary one when she broke her leg, then a permanent one when she got cancer. Ever since then, it’s been a peeve of mine when able-bodied folks use the handicapped spot. It’s for people who have legitimate mobility issues, people! I don’t care if you’re just gonna be a second, or if you think they can wait for you. They shouldn’t have to wait. (I’ve even had a customer play the race card because I wouldn’t let her park there!) Move. Your. Car.

  • You Have No I.D.-ea!

    The state I live in has very strict laws about selling tobacco or vapes: we have to I.D. everyone. If caught, the store can lose its tobacco license, and the employee can be fined, fired, or even arrested!

    It doesn’t matter if you’re so old you still owe Abe Lincoln a dollar. If other stores don’t card, why are you at mine? And if they don’t, they’re breaking the law! If you left it in the car, go run out and grab it. If you left it at home, then you’ll just have to go without. And your lungs will thank you.* I’ve even had people swear at me, because that’s somehow supposed to get me on their side

    And if we see you volunteering to buy for someone else, not only is that not happening, but we’re gonna put the kibosh on any tobacco or vaping purchases. Go ahead, call corporate, they’ll tell you the same thing!

    *Also, why are you driving without your license on you? What if you got into an accident? But I digress…

    Sign – No smoking. Police prevents or prohibits smoking.